Fran Kitching explains mental health journey after head injury

In 2020 she was struck by a stud to the forehead while training with Liverpool, requiring 60 stitches to close the wound. In jest, she says she spent the time “looking like a cabbage patch doll,” but was in training again after just a few weeks.

Naturally, she worried about throwing herself back into a contact sport, connecting with someone’s elbow or boots. But the injury didn’t affect her once she stepped onto the turf.

Its impact, instead, shook her life away from sport.

“Being back on the pitch was never the issue,” she says. “Off the pitch it affected me in everyday life. That shocked me most.”

Fran hasn’t discussed her injury publicly beyond two Instagram posts, one hidden behind a content warning, in January 2020 and May 21.

She says a year ago she would “refuse to speak about it,” but is opening up today to help people “feel less self-conscious, because when something’s on your face you constantly think about it.”

Fran sustained a scar that will take another two-three years to fade, and says she’s “still healing now” as a result. She recalls the first weeks after surgery: “At the time I was in a very dark place because I’ve been fortunate enough, and I’ve spoken to the girls at Palace about this, that I’ve never really had blemishes on my skin.

“For me to have that [scar] on the middle of my forehead was a massive change. My mental health was in a place where it had never been – it was the lowest it had ever been and I was scared to leave the house, thinking about what people would think if they looked at my head.

“I was in a very vulnerable place for the extent of the injury. There had been horrible comments online – ‘look at the size of that,’ and stuff. People don’t realise what they’re saying and how they’re affecting a person. Those things stick with you.”

The country entered its first lockdown soon after Fran resumed training, leaving her to deal with the situation without friends and teammates close by.

She recalls: “I thought: ‘Right, I am actually in a s*** place. I’m in a horrible place mentally.’ I was crying every day and people didn’t know about it. That’s when it really hit home.

“I’d have to cover it with makeup to feel comfortable. Little things like that people don’t think about… I’m still healing now. I might wake up and look at my scar and think: ‘God, it looks red today.’”

Competing with Women’s Super League side Liverpool, Fran was at the top of English football and approaching her 22nd birthday when she sustained the injury. She was otherwise in a position to advance her career and establish herself in the top-tier, but while battling with her own mental health felt she couldn’t cope with full-time demands.

“I wasn’t in the place mentally to go back into a full-time environment,” she explains, “so that’s why I ended up dropping down to part-time.” Fran returned to her former club Sheffield United, her family’s team.

A combination of her own resolve and being back in Sheffield helped Fran through the worst of it. She began to work with a psychologist to accept what had happened and underwent corrective surgery through the PFA in May 2021.

Two-and-a-half years later she’s confident enough to address the injury publicly, and to use her platform to reach others in a similar position.

“It is now part of me and people say they can’t even notice it, but because it’s on you, you do notice,” she says.

“[I’d say to people] to be patient with themselves. I know the standard comment is ‘it’s okay not to be okay,’ but it genuinely is. If you don’t feel all right and you need help, ask for it. There will be so many people around you willing to help.

“I just expected people to know I’m not feeling well. I’m very good at putting on a face and looking happy – so how would they know I’m feeling low without telling them? Let people know how you feel and open up.

“And be patient with yourself. I’m talking confidently now two years down the line but I’m not lying by saying I still struggle day to day. It’s taken me two years to get to a point where I can even have a conversation. If you spoke to me about this last year I’d refuse to speak about it. If you feel like you’re not in a position to talk about something that’s happened to you, don’t until you’re ready.”

Now that she’s ready, Fran hopes by sharing her experience others in a similar position might feel some reassurance.

For anyone struggling with their mental health, or who is concerned about somebody else, the organisations below can provide free, confidential support. Please use them if you need to.

• Samaritans, open to anyone, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year: 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
• Mind, open to anyone, Monday-Friday, 9-6: 0300 123 3393 or email info@mind.org.uk
• CALM, open 5pm-midnight every day to men: 0800 58 58 58